Where Do These Celebrities Keep Coming From?

Watching an old episode of ‘Friends’ the other night – the one where Ross says the wrong name during his wedding to Emily -  I was reminded of the night I played some songs in front of Jennifer Saunders. Jennifer’s daughter was playing that night too as it was an open mic night at a local bar. I was due to go on after her and it only dawned on me as I was checking my guitar was in tune over in a quiet corner that Jennifer was in the front row, having come to watch her daughter’s performance. She looked softer than her ‘Absolutely Fabulous’ persona and seemed to be enjoying the evening. When I stepped out onto the stage for my slot I tried not to stare directly at her as I knew it would make me feel nervous. I don’t know why, there was a time when I kept randomly bumping into celebrities. Then again, when it is random you don’t ever really get a chance to get used to the idea. I mean you can’t wonder around life think ‘Oh I’m Mr Planet, I bump into famous people.’ Not unless you want people to use the word ‘arrogant’ when they describe you.

But it is true that I’ve encountered celebrities in unexpected situations. Once I was heading to a band rehearsal and walking over a bridge in town. Coming the other way was a blond chap who seemed a little familiar. ‘He looks like David McCallum out of ‘The Man From U.N.C.L.E.’,’ I thought to myself as he drew nearer. “You’re David McCallum,” I suddenly said. “Yes I am,” he replied, “And who are you?” “Oh I’m just a bloke on the street hassling you,” I said, realising that it was really rather rude of me to just blurt out my thoughts at him. He extended his hand and said “Hello bloke on the street.” “Hello David McCallum.” He then pointed at my guitar case and said “You playing tonight?” “Rehearsing with my band,” I told him. “You any good?” he wanted to know. “I’m not bad.” He smiled and said “Well I’m not bad at acting so you never know.” And that was that. He had to go, I was late for rehearsal and I forgot to ask him the most important question which was, ‘What are you doing in this two-bit nowhere town I call home?’

Some years later, when I was at university, I was standing at the queue for the ATM with my son, who was probably about eight or nine years old at the time. There were two ATM machines and the guy alongside me in the other queue looked familiar. Oh my word, he was Dave Davies, guitar player of The Kinks, one of my favourite sixties bands. “Hello guitar man,” I said. He turned round and smiled and said something quite softly. I remembered as he spoke that he’d suffered a stroke a few years back so he might not want people bugging him on the street. So I just gave him the thumbs-up, which he returned. We both stepped forward to the cash machines at the same time and when he’d done he tapped me on the shoulder and said goodbye with another thumbs-up. “Who was that?” asked my son. “He was in a huge band in the sixties.” “Bigger than McFly?” he asked (for the Americans, McFly were the equivalent of the Jonas Brothers over here for a year or two). “Well sort of,” I replied, “But even bigger and much more talented.” “Cool.” And I had to agree, how very cool to just bump into Dave Davies while waiting to draw some money out of the bank.

In similar fashion I have met Donald Sutherland, David Suchet (who plays Poirot over here in the UK), Hugh Cornwell of The Stranglers, Tony Robinson (Baldrick from ‘Blackadder’), and several other minor celebs. But the famous person I refused to get excited about was a member of the royal family. It was my first year at university and I was walking down a corridor talking with a friend. My shoulder brushed against the shoulder of somebody coming the other way. “Sorry,” I said and carried on walking. My friend was agitated. “Oh my god! Do you know who that was?” “Nope,” I said, as I hadn’t even looked up. “That’s Peter Philips.” “Er, and he is?” “Princess Anne’s son. The Queen’s grandson.” I wondered what my friend expected me to do with this information. Run after Peter Philips and throw myself prostrate before him uttering profuse apologies? I grinned. “I doubt very much he’ll have me sent to the tower for brushing his shoulder, especially as I’ve said sorry. He probably likes being treated like a normal person anyway.” My friend still looked doubtful but, as my head was still attached to my shoulders, I assumed I was right and carried on walking.